Reflections from the Lake

2008-06-02T17:40:00.000-04:00

This is weird but super cool as well.

2008-05-31T10:19:00.002-04:00

My buddy number 13, enjoys every once in a while reading my correspondence with others, what follows is an email with my cousin, that I think makes some interesting points. I have changed references to my name, in keeping the thin veil of anonymity this blog maintains, but this is how I responded to the question, how do I deal with Neurotics.

One of the things of being over here is that people in my life all the time want to introduce me to people they know, "that I will love" who are either in London or are visiting London or whatever. Now I am an optimist, and a realist and a cynic at the same time (that probably make me neurotic). But for the most part I think my line on people:
a) most people I can deal with in small doses
b) most people wear out their welcome with me after four hours
c) If you make it past the four hour mark, twice, I will forever love you
d) if you do not go over well in the first ten minutes your chance of ever making the four hour mark is about .01%.

Now I realize this all sounds harsh, and this is not The Lakes' standard operating procedure as much as it, how life plays out. so people keep telling me I have to meet so and so. And A) because while i have a cool group of friends here, it still is slightly lonely from time to time, and B) because I don't want to be rude, I will often agree to a pint or coffee to meet these people. now since being here the success ratio of such "set-ups" for lack of a better term, has been zero. In fact most of these people who I will love I can't stand. They have grating personalities, they are obnoxious, they are into hardcore drugs, or lots of sex with strange people, or generally are to quote Austin Powers - not my bag.

So the last few months this has bothered me, It has me on multiple occasions to think to myself, why do they think I will like said people. My thoughts have boiled down to this

a) In some way the feelings these people inspire in my friends who are suggesting we should hang out, are similar to the feelings I inspire. And since I can't stand to be alone with myself for very long, of course I can't stand to be with people like me.
b) People in the US overestimate the combination of being an American in London as potential common ground (my own experience runs opposite to this however as my group of friends here is much more eclectic than in the US and in a lot of ways our only common ground is that we are American)
c) forced set-ups never work (think blind dates or mentor relationships like Big Brothers Big Sisters)

My conclusion is that it has to do with the fact that I am a happy-go-lucky person who prefers matters of friendship (or retroactively liking someone romantically) to be organic. To be something that happens because it happens, not because someone else thought it was a good idea.

So what does all of this have to do with your question: well the fact that I have thoughts like this makes me either Neurotic, Self absorbed, Self aware, an overthinker or mentally challenged. The truth is probably a Venn Diagram with me in the middle. The other thing to remember is that in New York where Woody Allen is a role model, Neurotic for a lot of people becomes an easy personality template to fall into. Personality template is the thing I describe where someone has no personality so they adopt a pre-defined personality and all the tenets of it, rather than develop there own (see jock, slut, goth, emo, anorexic, Frat-boy all for examples) now we all know people who fit only parts of it, but how every once in a while in life have you met the uber religious Catholic girl that also love to drink or the Sports guy who also was working on a Screenplay, or the Investment banking guy who stays up writing meandering emails to his cousin at 230 in the morning whose defiance of the template makes them not what they appear to be, and its those people who we want to spend more than four hours with. So don't let the Neurotics drag you down, remember there is a big difference between having to spend four hours with someone and wanting to.

good to hear from you

The Lake

PS yes the insomnia hit tonight

2008-05-26T12:01:00.002-04:00

Indiana Jones.

Well for those that worried it doesn't suck. It follows the formula of Raiders and Last Crusade, in that the first part of the adventure is almost cooler than the rest of the movie. Not to use an English major word, but the exposition is way over done.

I read Ebert's review, and he makes a great comment, is the reason we don't like this one as much as the others is that it is the fourth, and if we had seen this one first would we have loved it just as much. It's an interesting comment, one that when combined with the fact that I am 23 years older than when I first saw the character, left me at the end of it saying, how I intro'ed this post, it didn't suck. As comparison I left Iron Man saying, how friggin cool and fun was that movie. One is positive the other is refuting negatives. Either way go see it, if for no other reason there is an awesome ants scene, and there is a great scene where IJ is interrogated by CIA agents and it implies a lot has happened since he left the holy grail.

2008-05-22T16:33:00.002-04:00

My funny joke of the weekend. In Hoboken there is a blockbuster. The sign in Daylight says BLOCKBUSTER VIDEO. At night when the neon is up and the sexiness of renting things is at its peak it says. BLOCKBUSTER V. Saturday night the Dump, #13 and Backdoor and I were in the car driving by, and I said, "and here we have Blockbuster Five."

When's the last time you got to use Roman Numerals for fun?

2008-05-22T16:22:00.002-04:00

If someone says to me "you have to meet so and so, you will absolutely love them" two results will follow and its based on their criteria used to come to the conclusion that I will love them.

Criteria one: They are basing it on their knowledge that my heart often melts for slightly naive but intellectually rigorous, shorter cute blondes from suburban America, who find cynicism, mixed with embarrassing stories from childhood, mixed with the occasional fart/dick/ethnic joke to be the most charming characteristic in another human being.
Result: Usually I absolutely love them, where love is defined as, wouldn't be opposed to sitting next to them on a long flight to Asia where we both don't have books and the movie is Sisterhood of the Traveling pants.

Criteria two: All other Criteria.
Result. I don't absolutely love them, in fact I often think they are obnoxious, annoying or any other adjective that you don't put on your Match.com profile or your resume.

I think the reason for this is when people decide people who we will "absolutely love" they are doing so basing it on the person they are thinking of reminds them of us, and has characteristics of us. I hang out with myself enough that I don't need another me.

2008-05-20T17:10:00.003-04:00

What Happens in Vegas.

Can you tell the weather has been crappy.

Again another Field choice. I relented because if I have to go watch anyone on screen for an hour and a half there is much worse than Cameron Diaz. I was pleasantly surprised. Again nice supporting cast, Two of my favorites were in it, Dennis Farina as Diaz's boss and Dennis Miller as the judge. Rob Corrdry who was on the Daily Show plays Ashton's friend and steals every scene he is in.

I liked the movie too, because it took place in New York and felt like New York really is, a lot of New York movies have New York as a setting but don't capture how New York actually is (Big Daddy comes to mind). Again one of those movies where the ending was coming from a mile away, but there are a lot of funny scenes and there seemed to be legitimate chemistry between Diaz and Kutcher.

My recommendation, good date movie, especially if you are in that stage where you want to go from dating to boyfriend and girlfriend.

2008-05-20T17:07:00.002-04:00

Baby Mama

The field wanted to see this. I have to say though that the friendship between Amy Poehler and Tina Fey was strong enough to carry the movie. It was again bolstered by interesting side players. Greg Kinear (who is one of those actors you don't go to see in movies, but when you find out he is in the movie its a pleasant surprise) and Steve Martin have nice roles. It is one of those movies where you can kind of tell where the plot is from minute one, but there is some heart in the characters and some very laughable scenes. I would say this is the perfect movie for a third date after you cook your girlfriend dinner and rent the DVD.

2008-05-20T17:04:00.002-04:00

Speed Racer

I didn't like the Matrix, and I didn't like this. All I can say is that John Goodman I think steals everything he is in. Other than that how can you have a movie with Christina Ricci (the princess of Goth Hot) and make her seem boring and uninteresting. Proof again that all the special effects in the world but if you don't have a story, you don't have anything.

2008-05-20T16:53:00.002-04:00

Forgetting Sarah Marshall

As you know I am a big How I Met Your Mother fan. I think How I Met Your Mother takes everything we have learned from Arrested Development, the Office, Curb Your Enthusiasm, and said let's redo Friends. In doing so they have created a sitcom that is very traditional in structure and very unconventional in execution. If the show has weak links it's in Marshall and Lily. Lily because she is annoying, Marshall because he doesn't add anything to the show.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall, much like the 40 Year old Virgin, Wedding Crashers, and Knocked up takes the basic chick flick/date movie plot and then attempts to gross it up for the guys who need to sit through it. Here is why it succeeds moreso than I think Knocked up did, because the main character is likable. We are rooting for him throughout the movie. We feel for him. But again as with Iron Man he is bolstered by a strong supporting cast. Jack McBrayer (Kenneth from 30 Rock) has a bit part as a newlywed on his honeymoon that is great, Jonah Hill plays a host at the hotel and is understated and great. Sarah Marshal's new boyfriend is played by British comedian Russell Brand and is incredibly funny. Kristen Bell is great as Sarah Marshal, Mila Kunis is hot in an understated way. There is a great musical number. And there are a lot of funny scenes.

Two movies into the summer and two recommends.

2008-05-20T16:39:00.002-04:00

One of the things about London is that the movie theatre near me has a deal, pay 20 pounds and you get to see as many movies you want in a month. So this summer I have taken it upon myself to see and review every "blockbuster". Here goes.

Iron Man.

Let me start off by saying there was a time where I was a comic book guy. My favorites were Daredevil and Green Arrow. I always disliked Superman because he was unrelatable. And the only way they ever tried to make him relatable was to make Clark Kent a bumbling doofus, which just doesn't play. I always liked Batman too, but the problem with Batman is that no matter how you want to portray Batman, you will be honest to the character, because by now we have seen Batman as dark and gritty and it works, we have seen Batman as bright and funny and it works, we have seen Batman as Dark and Bright and it works. So Batman has some core qualities, but how we enjoy him rests on the slant the creators want to play him as. Which brings me to Iron Man. I never read Iron Man. I probably knew some about his character, if only because I have at some point in my life known the inverse about comic books that I know about women.

The movie is in a word Awesome. Robert Downey Jr, phenomenal casting role. I thought he stole the movie in the underrated ZODIAC. In this he is perfect as Tony Stark. The role is played with humor. The role is played with a coolness that echoes Fonzie at his best. This is the super hero that guys want to be, girls want to be with. He parties, he lives life fun, and oh yeah he kicks ass. He is a rich Han Solo.
It doesn't stop there, the plot is pretty conventional, but the supporting cast is great. Gweneth Paltrow, who I have never really been a fan of, is hot in the movie, playing the role of hot good girl to perfection. Jeff Bridges is great as Tony Starks partner/archnemesis.
What a way to start the summer.

2008-04-22T14:55:00.002-04:00

I am curious, as I know I have a small Illinois following, what are your thoughts on Obama?
(can I call it a Smallinois following?)

2008-04-22T14:53:00.004-04:00

If you watch How I Met Your Mother and the Office. You can't tell me that last nights episode has paid off better than any Office Episode this season...

Although I did love the line last Thursday... "I give her a 10 for looks, but a 3 for describing herself"

2008-04-22T14:53:00.001-04:00

I know its popular, but after three listens, the JUNO soundtrack sucks.

2008-04-22T14:50:00.002-04:00

Here is what I don't understand about this whole Texas thing with all the wives. Have you seen these women. I can't imagine wanting one of them to be my wife much less 8 or 10 of them. I can venture that one or two of them have "Great Personalities" but the rest of them just look like Lunch Ladies, the kind that yell at you in front of the cafeteria when you try and steal a second milk.

2008-04-15T02:01:00.002-04:00

Interesting thing that I am now going to declare (with some sadness). 30 rock has surpassed the Office in terms of funniness. Thursday's dinner party episode was funny, but and I emailed my friend this, what happened to Jan? Jan in the earlier seasons reminded me of many women I had met in New York. Type A, career driven, but also stumbling through mediocre relationships with other Type A, career driven men (who for the most parts were on the slightly okay side of Jerks). Many of them, often around the same age (or slightly younger) than the age I presume Jan to be, they make a decision to forgo the lawyer, banker, hedge fund guy who is nice, secure, but also when he is dancing with her at a wedding can't help himself from looking around the room to see what else is available. I can think of at least 3 very successful women who at that point chose a guy who is more "real", they choose the fireman, the police officer, the regional manager of a paper company.
What I don't get is why is Jan now a spazzy nutball. It doesn't make sense and it seems like she is a different character than she was before.
Plus now that Jim has the girl and is pretty successful, how can we root for him. I actually find myself rooting for Dwight, who has gone from the office weirdo to the office punching bag. And I don't know about you, but enough times of Lucy swiping the football and eventually you want to see Charlie Brown kick it.

Now excuse me I have to go sweep up saw dust with Gilly.

2008-04-15T01:57:00.002-04:00

I have spent most of my life in a narrow geographic region (Philadelphia to New Hampshire on the east coast of the US). One interesting thing about being the UK is how weird it is being so far north. It is still only April so it is very cold here still (lows in the mid 30s F). The thing is that it stays light until around 8:15 already. That is how late it stays light in NJ/NH almost in full summer. The only other time I have this weird sensation of the temperature/dark/light phenomenon is the last time I visited Florida in January and it gets dark at 5 but is still in the 80's.

2008-04-09T17:16:00.002-04:00

You know who I admire. People that want to screw around with the olympic torch.

#13 and I once got yelled at for "ruining a taboo" game in college. Anytime someone can ruin something that people take too seriously, I approve. All the better that they are doing it to protest human rights violations.

Mike and the Mad Dog Argue about Yankee Stadium (part 1)

2008-04-09T15:41:00.001-04:00

These guys are the Sports guys on the radio in New York. Phenomenal

2008-04-08T01:57:00.001-04:00

The Masters is this week. Next to opening weekend of football, no sporting event gets me more excited.

2008-04-08T01:50:00.002-04:00

So your night is ending... those single people in the room are making their last minute attempts at finding friends. The line for the coat check is long. The bouncers are positioning themselves to move everyone on the street in search of cabs, buses or long walks. But wait there is one more song you get to hear. Three suggestions I heard were:

Last Dance - Too Literal
American Pie - Not a bad guess, actually has a similar sentimentality to the right answer
Don't Stop Believing - Don't know if they play it, but if they saved it for the last song, it would be waisting it.

The answer:
Put on my Blue Suede Shoes and I boarded a Plane, Touched Down in the land of the Delta Blues in the middle of the pouring rain.

Walking in Memphis? Really? Thats where you end the night?

2008-04-06T11:23:00.000-04:00

someone much funnier than me, must have already said this, but with Charlton Heston dead I guess now someone can pry the gun from his hands

2008-04-06T11:21:00.001-04:00

I love curling, in theory. It just seems like a sport that I could do. So last night on one of the other TVs they showed the semi-finals of the World Curling championship. You know who is the finals?

Germany and Australia...

Australia is good at curling????

2008-04-06T11:13:00.002-04:00

so since being in London I have been at locations where people in their twenties, or people who pretend to be in their twenties go and dance and consume beverages. Most of the times I have been in such places is due to the fact that the only places in London to watch American sports, still shows American sports, but turn into a nightclubs after like 9. So last night under the auspices of watching the final four, I end up in one of those types places. For the most part I have been very impressed with the DJ's at these places. They all seem to cater to white kids who think they can dance but who also can rock. So there is always an interesting mix including the following music:

There is always a Grease medley
Always two or three Michael Jackson songs
Sweet Home Alabama
Summer of 69
There is always a Dirty Dancing medley.
Always a lot of Diddy, B.I.G.
Amy Winehouse
Some australian bands I have never heard of
Bon Jovi
Talking Heads.

But here is the odd one, is that at the end of the night they always play the exact same song. I will give 25 pounds to the person who can guess by end of day Monday what that song is.

2008-04-04T02:33:00.002-04:00

One thing you have to love about the British is their outlook on delays. I have been at Heathrow, Gatwick and Stansted airports and seen people look at the departures board to see their flights delayed. In America this results in a lot of frustration. People are frantically on their cell phones. We have all seen people angrily read books like the DaVinci Code in airports. The British however see that their flight or anything is delayed as a rational reason to stay in the pub longer.

One thing I question about the British however is their ideas on Transportation. Sure the Tube is exceptionally clean, and they don't even mind if you eat on the Tube. As an aside, sometimes on the weekends I do a fun thing I like to call "Tube Picnics" where I stop off at the local supermarket and while going to visit friends, a tourist site, or the aforementioned pub, and pick up a sandwich and ride the tube with my own movable feast. But anyway, when I worked in NYC, I arguably worked in the heart of the financial district for 7 of the 9 years I was there. From where I worked there were a plethora of transportation options, I could take the subway, trains to New Jersey, ferries, buses, affordable cabs, and in a pinch it was an easy walk to other parts of Manhattan. I was in Manhattan for five incredibly nightmarish transportation events and all of them it took me no more than double the time to go home. The five, for those keeping score at home were:

9/11
The blackout
The day it poured rain and the subways went down (2007)
The subway strike
The GOP Convention 2004

So now I work, in arguably the new financial hub of London. They have set this up smartly in old docklands on a peninsula on the southern shores of the Thames. Good Ideas so far! But here is where it gets ugly, they have two train lines going in and out. They have some buses that go to places the majority of people don't want to go, and where there are no real connections to anywhere else. So last night the magic train that takes me and most everyone else to and from work was down. No problem, like all proper British employees we retired to the pub. It was however while on my second pint I realized the ultimate fear. What if the trains do not come back up. I am going to have settled in for a few hours with everyone else and then have to figure out my way home, and while I am doing that with a few thousand slightly to very intoxicated other frustrated commuters. In the old days my sense of adventure would have lead me to up my pint intake up and throw caution to the wind and prepare to ride such chaos like I was Patrick Swayze in Point Break. But the Lake can be responsible from time to time, so I left at 8PM. Here is the rest of my journey home.

Wait for about half an hour to get on a train
Take said train in the opposite direction from home
Walk for about an hour, kind of knowing where I am going
Check and see, yup trains are still down
Take a bus towards home.
Check and see, trains dead.
Get to a bus stop, see there are throngs of people. Wait for third bus to come to finally get on
Stand. upstairs on the bus for 40 minute ride home.
Finally arrive home.

All told it took me about four times as long to get home as it normally does. My one saving grace is I checked the web and the lines were still down, and that was about the time the pubs start shutting down.

Can't wait to go to work this morning!!!!!

2008-04-02T14:59:00.000-04:00

In college how many times when someone was invited over to watch a movie was a movie actually watched.

2008-04-02T14:58:00.001-04:00

Yesterday, all told there were about 57 minutes in the office about Ironing... Sigh...

2008-04-01T19:36:00.002-04:00

I am a bit of a pop culture aficionado. That may or may not be obvious. One of the toughest part about living in London, even though, I am also a complete Anglophile too, is that I miss American trash. Once I read that there is nothing called guilty pleasures, that if it brings you pleasure you shouldn't feel guilty. Now that may sound like something Eliot Spitzer said to his wife or Bill Clinton to Hilary, but when it comes to Pop Culture I disagree. I love Karate Kid, Dirty Dancing and Saved by the Bell. To me there are few songs that are more enjoyable than Total Eclipse of the Heart or More than a Feeling for that matter. Just because something is either made or loved by the masses doesn't automatically make it bad. I am sure if you have read this far and know my writing style, you know that this intro is a set-up for something. I commented to Slinger the other day, about it and that is Slingbox.
Slingbox is something that you can hook-up to your DVR (can you believe there are still people without DVR, their inefficiency is an affront to human intelligence and decency) and allows you to watch the television anywhere in the world over your lap top. As I type this it is 1243 in the morning in London and I am watching Tuesday nights Jeopardy. My subscription to Entertainment Weekly may not make it all the way to London, but at least I can still watch, Lost, How I Met Your Mother, and Saturday Night Live.

2008-04-01T14:54:00.003-04:00

Today at work, I listened to and partcipated in a conversation that was as long as all other conversations about a specific topic in my entire life: Guess the topic:

A) The difference between Groundhogs and Hedgehogs
B) Ironing
C) Why Blowpops have a questionable brandname
D) Cardigan Sweaters

Answer tomorrow...

2008-04-01T14:53:00.001-04:00

Best clean joke I have heard in a while

What did the zero say to the eight?

"Dude where did you get that awesome belt?"

2008-03-27T15:16:00.002-04:00

TALES FROM THE AIRPORT

1. Yesterday, I really have wanted since being over here to get a Yankees hat. The official kind they wear on the field (say that I am poseur that's fine... I am a lot of imperfect nouns). Anyhow I have a lifetime to kill at the airport and there is a lids or whatever. So I walk into the store and the person working behind the counter is a "pat". I can't tell if its a girl or a guy. Basic description: Jeans and a uniform T-shirt, super skinny, shortish hair under a cap. two earrings in each ear. Voice that sounds like it could go either way. So I ask for the biggest Yankees hat they have it doesn't fit. So I say, "thanks man" to which SHE now replies, "Actually I am a woman".

2. I later have to do the pre-flight visit to my other office. So I walk into the rest room. Completely empty. So I go into the Handicap stall. Not to go into too much detail, but it took a little bit of time. So I finish and walk and guess what, two people in wheelchairs are lined up waiting for me.

2008-03-27T15:12:00.002-04:00

Valerie Tagged me...so follow along and learn something

1. Post the rules before you give your answers.

2. List one fact about yourself beginning with each letter of your middle name. If you don't have a middle name, use your maiden name or your mother's maiden name.

3. At the end of your blog post, tag one person (or blogger of another species) for each letter of your middle name. Be sure to leave them a comment telling them they've been tagged.

Jello-mold. Are you ready for the most unmasculine post of the blogs storied life. When the field is down in the dumps I make her Jello-mold. its simple, costs about 5 dollars, and always comes out tasting well and usually both the taste and my effort prove that i am a halfway decent guy to her and that puts her in a better mood... (note this is better for "she had a bad day at work" surprise, than the "i said i would be home at 7 and come home at 9:30 having been at the bar with the guys" surprise that requires me to have 1-800-flowers in my fave five... (which is clearly a joke since 1800-flowers is a free call, and its not a hard number to remember)
Ingredients:
2 Apples
Bag o' nuts (preferably wal)
one container of red jello (i know red is not a color, but pick a flavor that looks red, i prefer the mix of blackberry and raspberry)
1 can of jellied cranberry sauce

Recipe

make the jello per instructions, but as you are mixing the jello crystals also mix in the entire can of cranberry.
let jello set for 2-2.5 hours
mix in nuts and diced apples
let set for another 2 hours
Garnish with cool whip or other topping.

Organism/orgasm - Not really about me, but every biology teacher in the US must get excited for the day in class you start talking about Organisms and see how many goofballs say Orgasm instead. I think that is the only reason I would ever want to be a Biology teacher. Number one reason I wouldn't - dealing with uppity teenagers who take it on as their cause that they are not going to dissect the frog.

Hulu - when i was home i looked at it, realized it may be the greatest site ever, and it isn't available in the UK.

New Jersey, a lot of people make fun of, but being back there this past weekend, reminded me about what a great place it is. There is no place like home.

Wow a recipe and Wizard of Oz reference, not that there is anything wrong with that...

2008-03-26T11:51:00.003-04:00

so the last two weeks i have been from London to Munich to New Jersey to heading back to London tonight some fun stuff to report.

5 highlights

1. The dump came to Easter Dinner. I must say the Dump in mixed company should really be referred to as the Landfill.
2. Nobody drinks like the British, on an afternoon flight the guy to seated next to me put away 6 or 7 beers on the flight. He was in his mid thirties, professional. My states, puritanical background thinks this may be extreme, I don't know if the British do.
3. In a moment of interesting cinematic choice, the field and I went and saw Never Back Down, which is pretty much a shot for shot redo of the Karate Kid, with better fight scenes but worse acting, storytelling and factors of interest.
4. If I found out tomorrow that I was going to die in 30 days and could not spend time with friends and family, I might choose to spend that time in Munich. It's like New Orleans was pre-Katrina, Good food, Good beer, people in good moods, decent weather and a lot of the people speak a language I don't understand.
5. I feel like Lost is building itself up to either be the greatest show ever or a major let-down.

more to come...

2008-03-13T16:39:00.001-04:00

The closest I think I will ever get to going through a time warp is when I am using a toilet paper and somehow I am unrolling instead of the top and bottom of a set of two-ply, I am unrolling the bottom of one and the top of the level below. Only happens every few years but when it does it is memorable.

Phenomenal

2008-03-12T18:09:00.001-04:00

Before there was Matt Damon or Ben Affleck

2008-03-12T17:37:00.001-04:00

2008-03-11T18:36:00.002-04:00

Eliot Spitzer... a few comments

In college I remember there was a group cleverly, (although I am guessing a professor thought this up) called Bacchus. (Bacchus being the god of wine... unlike Steve Urkel who is the god of whine)... yes I just made an Urkel joke, its taking me a few days to get fully back in the blogging Swing. Anyhow Bacchus was one of those awful acronyms that just doesn't really make sense. I think it was something awful like Behind all college consumption healthy University students. The thing was they would have these parties with mocktails (fancy drinks that help guys who couldn't find a girl to make-out with even less successful). They were the ones who aided the feminist club in espousing the real but over hyped dangers of date rape. They wore Tee-shirts with things like, I can have fun sober. I remember my first semester Freshman year thinking about these people suck. I was mature enough to know that there was some validity to their cause, but I also knew that the only people who joined this club, were guys whose wrap was being sensitive, and girls who weren't hot enough to get into a good sorority. It was only after a few weeks, that my initial judgment was sullied even worse. The members of Bacchus were the biggest boozers and sluts on campus. Which brings me to my point... the people who preach the loudest are hiding the most.
The libertarian in me is reminded of George Carlin, If selling is legal, and a word that rhymes with ducking is legal, then how come selling ducking isn't legal.
The former 13 year old boy in me can't wait to see the photo of this woman. If he was willing to risk so much, she better look like Jessica Alba's prettier sister.
What I do know, is that if Spitzer was client number 9, there are a lot of guys out there that are praying for two things a) that there name isn't implicated b) that if their name is implicated they don't get known as client number 792.

2008-03-08T02:05:00.002-05:00

When it comes down to it what is the most humbling object in the universe?

A whistle on a lanyard. Think about it. When you hold a whistle on a lanyard you could think "ooh I could blow into this and make a loud sound." However, are any of us truly optimistic enough to see that totally utilitarian view of the whistle? The answer is obvious.

Instead when said object is in our hands we immediately realize our own imperfections with more clarity than a 20X mirror. Sure we could try and swing the lanyard around our index finger allowing the centrifugal force to spin the whistle like a plastic tilt-a-whirl. Each revolution only deepens the glaring fact that we are not nor will ever be as cool as a lifeguard at a public swimming area.

We could also put said whistle around our neck, wearing it like a crucifix presented to an Italian boy on his first communion. We can stand tall and proud with shorts and ankle socks, and a windbreaker with no lining, but we will never have the simultaneous real and inflated power that a J.V. soccer coach.

When i most think about the whistle though is when it comes time for me to make a decision. Like all of us mortals, my decision making process often is filled with hawwing and hemming. Do I go see Juno or do I go see Rambo. Like all people who struggle with life, the emotion I feel the most is congnative dissonance, that feeling that the decision you just made is the wrong one. Often on lazy sunday's or rainy wednesdays I think about my decision making role models. The people who can make decisions in instants and then stand behind them with more confidence than a wolf in a chicken coup for the blind. I am of course talking about referees, but in particular soccer and basketball. They stand before us often in black, the sports equivalent of Johnny Cash, and who could not imagine a referee orderring foul shots or penalty kick in Reno just to watch a man die. The referee has his whistle and blows it with such authority. Their decision stands.

Sorry to write such a depressing piece

2008-03-06T15:15:00.002-05:00

2 things that don't come in pairs but should:

Pears
Twin beds

2008-03-06T15:07:00.002-05:00

Two stereotypes about Americans that I cannot understand

They assume we all bowl, a lot.
They think we all have guns

I have resigned myself to explaining to people that the way the fingerholes get into bowling balls is we shoot them.

2008-03-06T15:05:00.002-05:00

Maybe I am out of the loop, but is this the longest we have gone in 10 years without a major starlet either announcing she was pregnant, getting a DUI, or being caught in a sex tape. It has to be close to 17 days.

2008-03-06T14:41:00.003-05:00

Is there anything more awkward then someone who doesn't like public speaking, being really really nervous in a situation where there is no need to?

2008-03-05T17:26:00.002-05:00

My favorite thing I read today. I guess the creator of Dungeons and Dragons died. A commenter on the Daily Gut said "He did more to stop people from getting laid than AIDS. Wrong yes, sick yes, funny absolutely. I was just on this side of dorkiness to never get into D&D, I remember playing a few times with someone who was more nerdy than I was. There were about six guys in a basement, the kind of basement where there were a lot of Legos and drawing tables, and not the kind of basement where there was a VCR, Animal House tapes and posters of girls in bikinis. My friend Warren and I were so bored with making up characters and deciding if they should be wizards or paladins or archers. So we cheated and when we rolled to see what our agility and stuff was we always rolled a 6 or 8 or 16 depending on the dice. So when it came time for our mission we flew through it and we were able to use deflection spell and actually ended up killing one of our friend's friend characters. We were never invited back.

2008-03-05T17:20:00.002-05:00

as George Costanza once said.... I'm back baby...

I am in London, doing well... and because it annoys me. Here are five things every person under the age of 35 talks about who is American but living in London, that I will say this once and never talk about again:

It's weird getting used to change that can actually buy real things. The 2 pound coin is worth almost 4 dollars.
It stinks that pubs close at 11 PM, but in some ways thats a good thing too.
The pizza sucks, we get it.
Eventually you get used to the fact that roast chicken is not just a dinner that Mom would make, it is also a potato chip flavor.
There are only so many Friends episodes you can watch before you miss real TV.

2007-09-27T11:15:00.000-04:00

So I have just started a Vitamin Water frenzy. One of their flavors is called "XXX" here is my question; how were they ever able to discuss the creation of this flavor over email without their company Spam filters picking up on it.

2007-09-14T08:59:00.000-04:00

I am stealing from Slinger again the Friday 5.

1. I think the fine the Patriots got was reasonable. As a fan I have mixed reactions part of me loves the fact that BB and co, have such a win at all costs mentality, but part of what I loved about the Patriots was the Team focus, being introduced as a team at the first Super Bowl, the genius plays they made. The fact that Brady had touchdowns with like 13 receivers last year. This tarnishes that, and in a way it hurts the players because it's not their fault the coaches were trying to pull a fast one. Still when you love a team, you love a team. I still say in Bill we trust.

2. Something that I spend way too much time thinking about is how going to college in the early part of the 21st century is so different than going to college in the late part of the 20th century. Someday I might write a book about this.

3. When it comes down to it my musical tastes are really just a series of songs that I listen to way too much then grow tired of and move on to the next song.

4. I want this day to be over more than usual.

5. Have a good weekend.

4. Since my Bike/Hike with

2007-09-14T08:48:00.000-04:00

I have no problem telling my readers embarrassing stories of my childhood, ineptitude with women when I was single and other random facts... So here is my deal. London. I work for a bank in NYC I have been here for three years, need to challenge myself. There is a good opportunity there. It's a little scary, but its also exciting. I have been to London three times before so I kind of know my way around, and I really like the city, after NEW YORK, Dublin, Prague and New Orleans, its probably my favorite city. For my Chicago readers I do like Chicago, but have only been there once really and I just didn't see enough of it to fully grasp it, but liked what I saw. Anyhow the blog will continue as I move over there and hopefully can share my version of what London is like in the 21st century.

2007-09-12T11:19:00.000-04:00

5 things. Sorry life has been busy lately.

1. It looks like October 10thish. The Lake will be moving to London for career opportunities.
2. There are many reasons to love Bill Belichick but this has to make you love him more.

"At this point, we have not been notified of the league's ruling,"
Belichick said in a statement. "Although it remains a league matter, I want to
apologize to everyone who has been affected, most of all ownership, staff and
players. Following the league's decision, I will have further comment."

"Any questions about the Chargers?" he pleaded in his standard other-
things-to-do monotone. "Want to talk about the football game? If not, I think
that statement pretty much covers it."

3. TBS has started showing the office at night. If you have never seen it now would be a good time to get started.

4. On a weirdly sombre note, yesterday was 6 years. That day and the after effects will forever have a profound impact on my life, but yesterday instead of feeling sad and wanting to dwell in the pain, I really wanted to get on with living. For that I feel a smudge guilty, but moreso I feel like I felt in late October of 2001 when I stood in a bar in Kansas talking to the cutest Kansan since Toto, that you can be respectful and acknowledge the impact of something, but there comes a time when you need to move on. I am not saying now is the time for everyone, but yesterday I felt it was the time for me.

5. My cell phone is about to die. Please let it last one more month.

2007-09-03T13:53:00.000-04:00

So in an attempt to prove that my legs are not vestigial appendenges on Saturday the Dump and I went on a little adventure. 23 miles by bike and 17 miles by foot. It took us way too long, but that was due to a flat tire that turned into an episode of Macgyver and guaranteed good earnings for Target in the third quarter. The dump is a good friend, but I think by the end of it, we had either grown tired of walking, ourselves or each other. There are only so many times jokes can be repeated (especially about Larry Craig and Maria Sharapova) without the aid of beer before they become unfunny. Either way, I slept 12 hours on Saturday night and then woke up and felt pretty okay. The thing that has suprised me on all of these things is no blisters. My guess is that it has to do with the uniformity of the pavement and the overall slope of the walk, but still 17 miles walking and just some tight thighs and a sunburn, makes me think again about one day hiking the Appalachian Trail or starting a Forest Gump like cult. I am kidding of course, because next Sunday starts football seasons where you sleep until twelve and then spend 16 hours in front of the TV wondering if the third string wide reciever from the Vikings has more than fifty yards...

Appalachian State University is HOT HOT HOT

2007-09-03T10:00:00.001-04:00

Great Game against Michigan

2007-08-29T13:58:00.000-04:00

Today is free Ice Cream day in the lobby of our building. It is so much like Pretzel day on the Office that I can't even stand it.

2007-08-29T13:33:00.001-04:00

I often joke to friends that I think in either Bullet points or analogies. That is not exactly true, because I can also think in Venn Diagrams, or more generally in graphical terms. This site absolutely is fascinating for that aspect of my brain. I like it so much I am immediately adding it to my links.

2007-08-29T09:52:00.000-04:00

Another Sports Jersey that always garners respect: Charles Barkley Suns Jersey.

2007-08-28T09:00:00.000-04:00

One thing that bothers me is hypocricy. And yet I fully admit that I am a hypocrit. Think about that one for a few minutes.

All I know is that in the history of the world, there has never been a man with a wide enough bathroom stance that his foot goes over far enough in the stall that it touches another man.

2007-08-23T10:29:00.000-04:00

TS Eliot said that April is the Cruelest Month.
The Lake says that August is the Laziest Month.

A few Odds and Ends to tied you over until I can get motivated to post more frequently.

1. I always garner immediate respect for someone wearing a Walter Payton jersey, even if they are homeless.
2. Superbad, is phenomenal, there is so much in those characters that are me, my friends and my brothers. If you have ever been around a cute girl and been not just awkward, but if awkwardness was a Natural Disaster you would be both Hurricane Katrina and the Johnstown Floods tied up into one that would be you, this movie will ring true, and again with so much heart.
3. If you have an extra 99 cents on your I-tunes giftcard, you would not be disappointed to pick up Whiskeytown's Lo-Fi Tennessee Mountain Angel. Its one of those simple alt-country songs that someday when I make a movie will be used in a montage about the beautiful girl that the hero is somehow lucky enough to be incredibly in love with and incredibly frustrated with at the same time.
4. You know you are getting old when your Golden Tee skills start to deteriorate.
5. One of my favorite lines from Anchorman. Ron is reading from the Teleprompter, I'm Ron Burgundy? and he reads it as if it is a question.
6. Yesterday this was an actual email I sent out encouraging some of my team members to go to a training session this morning. I hate myself. I would strongly consider going to this tomorrow. The end game will probably mean that New System is a bigger portion of our lives and its never too early to be in on the game.
7. The field and I are now owners of a car. That makes me feel more old than turning 31.
8. In a perfect world I would be a game show host.
9. When I was kid my dream was to dig a hole to China.
10. You know what is interesting, when I was around 12-13 I thought being a Ranger would be the coolest job on the planet. Over my 31 years I have met probably 10 rangers or so and except for one that was an Army ranger, none of them are knocking on Fonzies door.

2007-08-14T09:41:00.000-04:00

I was thinking today about Graffiti. Graffiti like tattoos are things that don't naturally belong where they are but people put there to express themselves. As previously posted I do a lot of walking and biking in the area where I live. All told I probably cover a 20 square mile area on a semi-regular basis. Since the area is primarily urban with many overpasses, trestles and other graffiti conducive surfaces, I get to see a lot of graffiti. One particular tagger, if that is the proper term, I am intrigued by because he just tags every thing "ALOT". His work, and I assuming it is a male, is seen over most of the area I believe I cover, which means that he goes to some effort, or he owns a car, to put his message up. I have four theories as to what ALOT means?

1. His name is AL OT, but that would be obvious to people in town who know Al.

2. He is being very literal in his graffiti. He tags a lot of things so he posts what he does.

3. He is describing where he is tagging much of the time. In a Lot.

4. He has some motive that I cannot identify (which I know is just a lazy way of me saying I only have 3 theories, but...)

2007-08-13T16:10:00.000-04:00

Merv Griffin was probably a Genius for many reasons. Number 1045 hasn't been mentioned yet by many. Inspiring the Merv Griffin episode of Seinfeld.

Oh look its our good friend, Jerry Seinfeld.

RIP.

2007-08-09T09:01:00.000-04:00

I was thinking this morning about how the male mind works, and how things that we don't find attractive on everyone, become attractive qualities when we are attracted to someone. This was spawned by me getting up and going to the bathroom and coming back planning on at least a few more minutes in bed, but the field had already made the bed and put those dreams to sleep. Here are some more not really attractive, but in the moment become attractive qualities from my past.

Bad Handwriting
Wearing a Calculator Watch
One too many Tattoos.
A slight drinking problem
Psychology Major
Two different colored eyes
From Ohio
Big Ska fan
Collects Flip-Flops
Is working as a Waitress in Hooters.

2007-08-07T10:21:00.001-04:00

I love lists.

http://www.mcsweeneys.net/links/lists/3AmandaMurphy.html

2007-08-07T09:40:00.000-04:00

6 topics I would cover if I wanted to be a hack stand up comic today.

Cell Phone Ringtones
Then segue into people who use Bluetooth
Then transition into the pointlessness of taking your shoes off at the airport
Then I would discuss reality TV
Then I would compare and contrast President Bush to Gilligan from Giligan's Island (including impressions of Alan Hale and Jim Backus)
Then I would talk about Hilary Clinton.

2007-07-30T14:30:00.001-04:00

From Peter King:

This is as perfect a quote summing up the Bill Belichick approach to a season as you can read -- no matter how maddeningly boring it is. After the first practice of camp the other day, Belichick was asked about his expectations of the team this year.
"I think right now what we're trying to do," he said, "is correct the mistakes from this morning and go in and have a meeting and put in the stuff that we have scheduled to go in this afternoon and try to go out and have a good practice this afternoon and that's really where we are. It's one practice after another. It's putting one foot in front of the other. We're just day-to-day right now. There's no light at the end of the tunnel. We have a long way to go and a lot of work to do and I'm not really worried about anything down the road or a month from now or two months from now or any other team in the league right now. I think we just have to work and get better each day and there are so many things that we have to work on that that is where our concentration is.''

2007-07-30T13:58:00.001-04:00

Tom Snyder died. I wanted to write a little bit of a personal rememberence of him. Snyder had the show after Letterman for most of the time I was in college. My friend, number 13 and I would joke that we were the only people in that part of Rhode Island watching. But here are three memories of Tom, that proved even then what a Genius he was.

1. Charlie Sheen had just finished his rehab stint, this was probably 95, 96. Snyder has him on to promote his comeback movie. But Snyder doesn't softball him questions about how good he feels now that he is Sober, or what it was like to go back to work. My memory is hazy but three of the questions I remember him asking that made for phenomenal TV were:

1. So what is different about having sex on Coke?
2. Does sex feel different when it's with a prostitute?
3. What do you do after you are finished with a prostitute do you have a
conversation?

And since it was live, there was nothing for Sheen to do but take it and answer.
2. Tom would always start his show with a story. One of my favorites was he once did five minutes on buying gas in Beverly Hills. Moreso than Garrison Keillior or Spalding Gray, or even one of my Hero's Eric Bogosian, if someone wanted to be a storyteller I would have them watch a few hours of those opening stories. He had no studio audience, he would laugh with the stage managers, he would read email forwards. It was compelling televison in a way that we may never see again.
3. Tom would refer to things as short-hand, and in a way when I refer to the field as the field, it is an honor to him, who refered to his lady friend as the companion.

So when I heard the news this morning I was sad, but I know somewhere Tom is having a Colortini with his Dogs and his mother.

2007-07-27T11:09:00.000-04:00

I am blatantly stealing from Slinger. The Friday Five. (Although with the understanding that I just know that he uses the title, and I am not sure if the Friday Five refers only to Music, but it will in this case).
5 Songs that have been ruminating in my mind for the last few days.

1. Radio Cure - Wilco. When it comes to forming opinions I usually stick to my guns. If I like something I will always like it, and if I don't like it, I won't. When Yankee Hotel Foxtrot came out, all my musically in friends were talking about it like it was Pet Sounds. I listened and was unimpressed. When I got my I-pod I put the album on anyway, over time it has won me over.
2. Follow You Follow Me - Genesis. Written in the period in between Peter Gabriel leaving and them becoming the quintessential big 80's band. It was in Chuck and Larry and is really a great song, and reminds you of what talents they could be when they wanted to be.
3. Lovers in a Dangerous Time - Bruce Cockburn. I only came to this song because I heard the Barenaked Ladies version. Great song and really a great artist. Pacing the Cage is another great song.
4. Addicted to Love - Robert Palmer. "You'd like to think that you're immune to the stuff oh yeah, closer to the truth is, you can't get enough, you know you're gonna have to face it you're addicted to love."
5. Fake Plastic Trees - Radiohead. The only time I was ever in a float plane and flying over the forests of Northern Ontario, about to begin a nine day canoe adventure, this was the song that was playing on the Boombox that say in between me and the pilot. "It wears you out"...

And those are my Friday Five.

2007-07-26T13:06:00.000-04:00

I have never understood the fascination with Scrubs. I think primarily because Zach Braff grates me like a whining cat scratching its claws on a blackboard. But Gutfeld has a good take here.

2007-07-25T14:38:00.000-04:00

I honestly feel bad for Lindsay. Somewhere in there a lot of people, including her parents, her friends, and I would say the latest rehab facility, have failed her. She should have the book thrown at her legally, but after that some people who really know what they are doing should help her out.

2007-07-25T14:26:00.000-04:00

I was talking to Number 13 last night. Is there anything worse than someone setting up something for you and it having the opposite effect. And I don't mean when someone intentionly says to you, "I have bad news, we are going to Las Vegas for a week for free".

I mean when someone says to you something like, "Great News, my cousin and three kids are going to be at the family reunion too, and are going to stay with us the week after to visit the area."

That's not the actual incident I am refering to, but you can see where was headed.

I call that the Free Lobster Roll Paradox. Because imagine today at your company cafeteria they were giving out Free Lobster Rolls, to some people that would be the best news in the world, but to me who hates Lobster Rolls and actually likes living Lobsters, that would be really bad news.

2007-07-23T15:58:00.001-04:00

One of the best movie speeches ever.

2007-07-20T14:18:00.000-04:00

5 Animal Crackers that would be tough to identify

Manateee
Platypus
Honeybee
California Condor
Racehorse

2007-07-19T16:02:00.000-04:00

So through a weird set of circumstances the field and I were able to go to the premiere of I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry. I will rattle off my thoughts Powerpoint style.

So a movie about two firefighters who pretend to be gay to help the one's kids recieve death benefits, seems like a stupid idea. It was actually very funny, and as you know I am a sucker for, it actually had a lot of heart. I wouldn't say rush out to see it, but it would be a very open-minded date choice.
Jessica Beil is very pretty in person, but huge, not fat, but just a big person. I saw Paris Hilton once in Las Vegas and was surprised at how small she was, this time I had the opposite reaction
Even a cynical jaded person like me, must admit its pretty cool to be right next to the red carpet
Chris Rock was there, and looks exactly like you would expect him to.
Kevin James is big.
It was held where Robert Evans, held the premiere of the Godfather. That's kind of cool.
Adam Sandler sat two rows in front of us, and was incredibly gracious, signed and took pictures with everyone.
Best Wednesday night since the season of Lost ended.

2007-07-18T11:22:00.000-04:00

I think I can finally admit that I am kind of a Yankees fan. I mean they will never hold even the smallest iota of portion of my heart that the Patriots do, but sitting at Yankees stadium last night for probably the 50th time in my life, I realized that I do like them and want them to win.

Schilling Sucks!

2007-07-18T11:12:00.000-04:00

The thing about the Onion, is that you read it enough, and then you only need to read the headline to pretty much predict the rest of the story. This one, was someone who doesn't own a car and only relies on Public Transportation, I thought was funny.

2007-07-17T09:21:00.000-04:00

About the time I really started being interested in girls, I also started to leave my radio on all night. I was living in a suburban South Jersey town. The time was 1988,1989. The major powerhouse in Top 40 radio was a station called Eagle 106. The 10-2 in the evenings DJ was Danny Bonnoduce, who at the time was only known as Danny Partridge and not the almost psychotic reality? star that he is today. He had that gravely smokers voice, and just out of rehab edginess that as a wussy 7th grader who could barely muster the nerve to say hi to a girl in the hallway would be inspired by. He had confidence, and these Phildelphia girls would call up in between songs and he would fearlessly dispense advice to them.
At the same time all music, except for church music, would invoke in me a theme of unrequited love, not that at the time I knew what unrequieted love was. Anyhow Danny Bonnoduce would start his show every night with Wild Wild West by escape club. So sometimes as I am getting ready for work, and the field is long gone I put on the music channels of our Cable system. This morning I put on the 80's channel to hear Wild Wild West. And music does trigger so much and at that time, I was infatuated with one girl. Jen. Anyhow here is a verse by verse as best I can remember it, my interpretation of what Escape Club was singing about circa 7th Grade. And its amazing that I a can't remember that the field told me to pick up the dry cleaning, but I can remember this song's meaning almost 20 years ago.

Wild Wild West
Forty-seven dead beats living in the back street
North east west south all in the same house
Sitting in a back room waiting for the big boom
I'm in a bedroom waiting for my baby
So here the first three lines I didn’t really understand. But the last line made perfect sense, because I was in my bedroom about to go to sleep and I was waiting for my baby, Jen. CHORUS:
She's so mean but I don't care
This girl Jen was in my Kindergarten class and was very mean then went to Catholic School and came to our public middle school and was not mean, but did ignore me.
I love her eyes and her wild wild hair
Jen as I remember it had extremely blue eyes, and unlike most girls in the 7th grade she had already taken a big interest in her appearance, including having manicured fingernails.
Dance to the beat that we love best
I wasn’t a dancer, I hated the thought of dancing, but in my mind the second a cute girl expressed interest I was going to be Travolta or Swayze and I would turn into a hero. I blame Footloose.
Heading for the nineties
This was the late 80’s so that made sense.
Living in the wild wild west
Jen, lived on the west side of town, I lived on the east side of town (might as well have been West Side Story)
The wild wild west

Mandy's in the backroom handing out Valium
I misheard this lyric up until googling it this morning. I always thought Mandy was handing out Valleys which never made sense to me.
Sheriff's on the airwaves talking to the D.J.'s
Sherrif was another artist of that era that sang, When I’m with you, at the time which for another time had other great unrequited love lyrics
Forty-seven heartbeats beating like a drum
I still don’t understand the 47 reference again.
Got to live it up live it up
Have fun as two 13 year olds in love.
Ronnie's got a new gun
I thought this was an offhand reference to President Reagan, but didn’t understand why.
CHORUS

Now put your flags in the air and march them up and down
Jen was a cheerleader, of course.
You can live it up live it up all over the town
She was on the west, I was on the east. Our relationship would cover all of the municipality
And turn to the left, turn to the right
Jen sat directly in front of me in Reading (we had both English and Reading in 7th Grade) so if she turned either direction she would see me.
I don't care as long as she comes tonight
I always thought of this referring to her coming to a dance.

CHORUS
Heading for the nineties living in the eighties
Screaming in a back room waiting for the big boom
Give me give me wild west
Give me Jen’s interest
Give me give me safe sex
Safe Sex was kissing, and I would have loved to have kissed her
Give me love give me love
Give me Jen’s interest, Give me Jen’s interest
Give me time to live it up
And let it happen soon so the rest of the dances in the school year I am not sitting around with the guys pretending to be cooler than I am.

2007-07-16T16:20:00.000-04:00

Fill in the Blank ___________.

2007-07-16T15:27:00.000-04:00

Some Monday afternoon's last forever.

Also on Wednesday Evening the Field and I, through a friend, got invited to go to the Premiere of the new Adam Sandler/Kevin James movie "Chuck and Larry". Look for my thoughts on Thursday. (and yes I am really, really, really hoping that Jessica Beil is there, if for no other reason than to ask her what it was like to work with Jamie Foxx in Stealth, and if the father on 7th Heaven really is the father of the year week in and week out.

2007-07-16T10:40:00.000-04:00

This weekend I went golfing, my score was so high, they had to use Scientific Notation.

2007-07-13T11:44:00.000-04:00

Slinger has a well thought out plot-hole busting post about Star Wars over here. Great reading if you are a fan of the movies.

2007-07-13T10:13:00.000-04:00

Today something was bothering me the entire walk into work. I couldn't figure out what it was. I thought there was something wrong with my pants. Maybe a hole in them. Or I missed beltloop. I just couldn't nail it down. Then I got to work, and I started to work, but then I remembered that something was bothering. So I went to the bathroom to check my situation out. I had put my boxershorts on backwards. All I could think of is the old Farside cartoon, where the boy is pushing on a pull door and there is a sign "Midvale School for the Gifted".

2007-07-11T14:25:00.001-04:00

You know what song would never be popular today, Wake up Little Susie.

A) Nobody goes by Susie
B) No teen has a curfew of 10.
C) There really are no Drive-ins
D) The singer is concered about his reputation being shot over falling asleep at a Drive in?

2007-07-11T10:41:00.000-04:00

One of life's moments, that feels so good, is when you are over your head, but somehow manage to pull through with flying colors.

2007-07-10T14:04:00.000-04:00

With the sad truth of the London Bombings, the Hippocrattic oath has come to the nations forefront again. This is combined with a mere three days ago it was 7/7/07. This leads me to ask the following questions. If you are an Obstetrician (If that is indeed a baby Doctor) when it comes to stating the time of birth and weight of the baby how much leeway do you play with? Especially on special calendar days like 7/7/07.

Example one: If a baby, lets call him Ralph, was born at 7:06:54 you might state that his time of birth is 7:07 and nobody would scream.
Example two: If a baby lets call her Rita, was born at 7:09:01 would it be ethical to name the birth time as 7:07?
Example three: If a baby and I have decided to stop naming them, was born and weighed 7 Pounds 6.5 ounces, I would think it would be acceptable to say his birth weight was 7lbs 7oz.
Example four: If another baby, again unnamed but different from the one in example three and cuter, is born and weighs 7lbs 10oz would it be okay to put on the charts that it weighs 7lbs 7oz.

I know you think I probably don't have an opinion on such things, but I do. I really don't care about Ralph and Rita's birth time (ironic in that I named them and not the others). I would think though, that in the case of birth weight that is an important medical yardstick. Later when talking about growth percentages, a few ounces might be statistically significant, especially in cases where people were rounding up.

Similarly odd: On fourth of July one of the stations predicted that the daytime high was 76. It only got up to 72. Were they trying to be cutsie with the historical temp reference or was it a bad prediction?

2007-07-09T16:14:00.001-04:00

Is there anything better than the feeling of once in your life, saying the right thing. The thing that Dirty Harry or Sonny Crockett would say and not just thinking of something clever to say, days, weeks, years later.

2007-07-09T09:14:00.000-04:00

The Lost Theory.

Lost as a TV show I think is a metaphor for life. Not in the way the characters, plot and mystery unfold. That is all interesting and entertaining. I am thinking more in terms of the Tom Petty gem The Waiting. The story I have always heard is that Petty wrote the song after reading a People Magazine article on Bettle Midler. In the article she is asked what is the hardest part of performing, and she says, "Waiting to get to perform for that one hour the next day" and Petty sings "The waiting is the hardest Part." It's such a simple thought that even though the song is musically nothing really special, but the meaning, pun intended, always struck such a chord.

Lost to those people that view it regularly is a frustrating show. There are 3, 4, maybe even 5 episodes where things are hinted at, there are small moments of joy but also an awful lot of frustration. The frustration is focused on the unknown, of hints but no answers, of wanting more action, more satisfaction, and just more. It gets to the point where you get so frustrated (and no this is not a call for help at all, I am not on the ledge) but where you think about stopping watching Lost altogether. Your love of life/Lost keeps you going though, because you hope and eventually there comes an episode where all that frustration is eased, where the struggle of the last 3, 4, or 5 episodes is erased by how meaningful and satisfying the episode is. And here is where I bring it full circle because even though so far the summer has been pretty good, this weekend was one of those episodes that makes you realize why you love the show so much to begin with.

All that being said, I still don't understand the Polar Bears.

2007-07-06T09:01:00.001-04:00

Have you ever seen the Tao of Steve? If not you should.

2007-07-03T11:47:00.000-04:00

I never got Transformers... I was a GI Joe Guy. Sure I had a few... but to me robots are much better for building cars or acting as cleaning women for the Jetsons, than doing battle.

2007-07-03T11:20:00.000-04:00

My favorite book about America: Travels with Charley. Steinbeck's later in life journey with his poodle in a camper van. I think it captures the essence of America that is just under the surface of today's slickly marketed perception of America. Plus it has always made me want to get a black standard poodle, which happens to be the one dog the Field hates.

2007-07-03T10:48:00.000-04:00

Fourth of July 2002. It was the first time the Field and I went away. We were going to a wedding in Andover, Massachusetts. The Field was in the wedding party and that meant while they got final dress alternations, nails done, hair done and had a brunch I was left to my own devices. It was also about 106 that day and the hotel we were staying in was miles from anywhere. To keep me amused, that morning the Field gave me the attached photo to keep myself busy. I wish I could say it didn't work.

2007-07-03T10:45:00.000-04:00

Fourth of July is my favorite holiday. In the last 11 years, as I would define it great times have happend in like 10/11. That is a much better average than any other holiday. Plus its the one day a year I get to wear my Uncle Sam costume without looks. (Okay I sometimes can pull it off for Halloween and Election Day).

2007-07-03T09:00:00.001-04:00

The only good thing about Wednesday Fourth of July's when you have to work... Two Fridays in the same week.

2007-07-02T08:58:00.000-04:00

I thought that the 40 Year Old Virgin was a step in the right direction in terms of summer comedies. The movie plays true throughout, and then has one of the greatest non-sequitor endings of movies ever. The greatest part of the movie is that it never sells out in the name of laugh versus the long-term arch of the story. So this weekend the Field and I saw Knocked up. Very funny movie. And really tries to do the same thing. Tries to never sell it out, and probably never does, instead what this one never completely caught was the versimilutude of the truth. I just never bought into the story. Not because a schlub can't get a pretty girl, but because there was never a true relationship between them, They never sold me that they got there. And to me that is the shame of the movie. It took a very funny, and very possible topic and left it just short. And yet I would still recommend it. Because it is that funny, and it is so much better than so much out there.

2007-06-28T13:06:00.000-04:00

My freshman year of college I was taking the standard writing class part two. I had to pick a poem and analyze the meaning of it. I don't like much poetry, except haiku and bawdy limericks. I picked Robert Frost's Nothing Gold Can Stay. If only because I remember it from the Outsiders. I compared it to Bruce Springsteen's song Glory Days. My teacher, who went on to be the poet lauriet of Rhode Island read the essay, the only thing he wrote on my paper was "A Are you from New Jersey". This morning as I heard Glory Days I wish I still had that paper. Anyway here is the poem:

Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.

2007-06-28T12:14:00.000-04:00

Since the last episode of the Soprano's I have been thinking about Journey a lot.

2007-06-27T10:19:00.001-04:00

So Saturday after the wedding the Field, #13 who was staying with us, and I get back to our apartment. The field is hungry so we decide to run upstairs to our apartment change and go to a diner. Its about 145 in the morning. So we go to the diner (which was completely unnecessary), but delicious. I even looked for Don't Stop Believing on the jukebox, but sadly ended up playing Wouldn't it Be Nice. So we leave and its a two block walk back to our apartment. Sitting on the sidewalk is a girl, who had to be 21 or 22 crying her eyes out. We asked if she was okay. She was crying so hard that she could barely talk. She also was wearing what appeared to be a cocktail napkin. Now, Hoboken is a safe place, but a drunk, underdressed crying girl at 2 o'clock in the morning, just can't be a good story. So she finally told us that she had left a bar in a huff because her boyfriend was dancing with other girls and being mean to her. She was from the middle of nowhere in Pennsylvannia and her boyfriend was not picking up her phone. She told us where she thinks where she was staying. Its about 20 blocks from our apartment in the wrong direction. The field and I did what any slightly drunk 30ish people would do, we volunteered to walk her there. About half way through the trek, my friend John comes up to us. So now like Dorothy and her friends, myself, the field, John and Rhoda the crying almost naked girl headed off to find Oz. The whole time we spoke about how her boyfriend seemed like a jerk and whether she was an Eagles or Steelers fan, and all the sort of small talk you make when you are walking a complete stranger home at 2:45 in the morning. When things like this happen it makes me never want to venture into the suburbs.

2007-06-26T11:25:00.000-04:00

One of my favorite sayings that my father uses over and over again is "Besides everything else that happened Mrs. Lincoln what did you think of the play?"

2007-06-26T10:43:00.001-04:00

I just am so excited to hear from Paris it is killing me................

2007-06-25T17:50:00.000-04:00

http://cronkitegreeting.blogspot.com/

2007-06-25T17:31:00.000-04:00

You should definitely be watching Flight of the Concords on HBO. It's sketch comedy with a lower case.

2007-06-25T15:50:00.000-04:00

Summer Project Annoucement tomorrow. Too busy today to get in depth. Wednesday at the latest.

2007-06-25T11:46:00.000-04:00

I am not a huge Supreme Court watcher, but I keep my pinky toe on the pulse of it, mainly from reading George Will, who comments on the court occasionally and a snippit here or there in the paper. Anyhow, It is amazing to me that George H.W. Bush nominated Souter to the Supreme court. In today's Red/Blue world that never would have happened.

2007-06-25T11:07:00.000-04:00

#13 and I were sitting around listening to the cable channels that only play music, waiting for the field to get ready, before going to a wedding on Saturday night. The song Islands in the Stream with Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers came on. This sparked the memory of the 80's Lip synching show Puttin On the Hits. Is there anything funnier in an antifunny way than when someone dresses up half of themselves in one garb and the other half in another garb and sings karaoke or lip synchs a male and female song. That memory had us laughing for about 10 minutes.

2007-06-22T09:57:00.001-04:00

Coming Sunday or Monday my summer Project.

2007-06-22T09:32:00.000-04:00

Yesterday in the middle of June I wore Corduroy pants to work. (Yes, this is a Dry cleaning story so you have been warned). So I go to the dry cleaners yesterday morning with my ticket and also one of the Field's dresses. As an aside we have know for about four months that we are going to a wedding Saturday night, but the Field waits until Thursday morning to get the dress she needs dry cleaned. As a second aside the Field and I have two separate dry cleaners. Her's is close to our apartment and they always have cute little dogs in the store, I have used it on occasion, including with some stuff at the end of last week. I have one that is on my way to work that I use and has a nice guy who always has gum and gave me a planner for Christmas. So I go to hers. I ask them if it is possible to get this dress cleaned by Saturday morning.
She follows by asking me as if I am stupid, "Have you heard about the flood at the Dry Cleaning Factory? We are backed up on all Dry Cleaning, and can take nothing until at least next week and all deliveries are backed up until at least Saturday." Her tone implied I was stupid for not having heard of the flood. Now, I am sure in the Dry Cleaning community of northern New Jersey this is their Katrina, but with global warming, the space shuttle being unable to land, and me at 7:25 in the morning realizing I may have no clothes to wear to work (small big deal), and the Lake may not have a dress to wear for a wedding on Saturday (Huge, End of the World, Big Deal), a flood at a Dry Cleaning factory has not exactly set off the CODE RED. So I say thanks. Then I go to my dry cleaner with fear that he uses the same factory. I get there. He says hello and then the last four digits of my phone number. (It's a great relationship when the proprietor knows you by your code in his computer system). So I ask him, I say "I heard about the factory flood." He then looks at me, like I looked at the proprietor of the other cleaners a mere eight minutes earlier. He then says do you need this by Saturday or Monday. I say Saturday morning. He says see you soon. End of Transaction. I go home and put together a stellar outfit of a shirt that has a small hole in one of the armpits and corduroy pants. Later I Googled Dry Cleaning Factory Floods and am came up blank. So I hope my clothes are there today or I may start to get really worried. Last night I put a pair of pants that doesn't need to be in the dry cleaner into the laundry with a shirt and Ironed them both. So Thank God it's Friday.