RANDY MOSS!!!! I think no matter what its a good thing. Simmons Take here.

I consider myself pretty knowledgable about a few things, one of which is music. This article almost blew my mind. Some great music trivia there...

3 thoughts from the weekend.

1. Saturday around noon I am sitting at a Subway sandwich shop. I was enjoying a 6 inch turkey with extra veggies. (This may be overstating it, because how much can you really enjoy Subway. Subway provides perfect consistency and mediocrity, but best of all in Manhattan they are relatively cheap and more importantly clean.) So I am sitting eating. Let me also elabortate that I am in a Patriots T-shirt and camoflague shorts. I am as I often am on Saturday afternoon at my dorkiness, which is saying something. So along come these two Irish guys who ask me the following question, "Do you know where we can score some coke?". Now I have never done coke, but if I were to and if I was going to try and find it, if I saw a goofy guy eating a turkey sandwich at noon, that wouldn't be the guy I would ask...
2. I think I have come up with a million dollar idea. Yesterday I was watching the Yankees play the Red Sox. What if I could market to Spaulding or Wilson or whatever sporting goods manufacturer makes batting gloves, batting gloves that stay tight for more than one pitch. After every pitch the batter steps out of the box and retightens his gloves. I could guess that for some this is superstition, but they all do it. Imagine the first time Derek Jeter tried them on "What are these voodoo gloves you guys are giving me, they stay tight for more than eight seconds?"
3. There was a scene in the Sopranos last night that was horrifying.

My 5 all time favorite Game Shows

1. Card Sharks - I remember from childhood the Jim Perry version. I actually found on ebay a few years ago Perry's biography about his is spiritual awakening, which in a word was weird. He however was the consumate hope and it combined with the perfect game. A little bit of gambling and perfection.

2. Jeopardy! - There is nothing more gratifying than the feeling of being good at Jeopardy.

3. Family Feud. - I love watching the reruns on GSN, because you have to put your mindframe in that of 1979 when you are asked to Name a Sexy Female Actor

4. The Pyramid- When Dick Clark would come over after this person came so close to winning $100,000 and offer up his perfect clues, you just wanted to deck him. Plus in a weird way as a child and even to some extent now I found Adrian Barbeau attractive.

5. Three's A Crowd. This is a 70's game show where a husband, wife and his secretary go on to see who knows him best. It was fantastic. In all ways.

Things that you and I will never have to think about*

1. That the net was set up by three drunk hillbillies who get paid 4 bucks an hour but then get docked 18 dollars a day for food.
2. That you can't get life insurance for your wife and newborn because your career is too risky
3. That your work shoes make you look like a sissy
4. That all you do is walk in a straight line with a pole in your hand, you don't even jump or tame a beast from exotic lands
5. That your father was right you should have been a football referee
6. That your bed for the next two nights is in a train car with Bozo the snorer
7. That you stepped in Elephant poop this morning
8. That the bearded woman is actually a man
9. That the person outside selling T-shirts is making only 45 dollars less a week than you
10. That they probably aren't going to bring back Circus of the Stars, giving you at least some national media exposure.

* Unless we were a tightrope walker

I was tempted not to post this since it gives away my real name and I prefer to be known solely as the Lake, but a list has been published on McSweeney's here.

3 Unnumbered and Unrelated thoughts

Sunday afternoon the Field and I saw Fracture. Interesting movie. The best part about it though, was that it takes place in Los Angeles and they filmed LA as a City. Too many movies that take place in LA seem like they could be in any suburb.

Who are more creepy... people really into Disney memorabilia or people who tell you about their fiber regimen.

Tangerine by Led Zeppelin is a really good song.

Today's Music Trivia that maybe only interests me. The woman who gave the drugs that killed John Belushi dated Gordon Lightfoot years before.

I hate routines. If someone wanted to torture me they would give me a job where every day I did the same thing at the same time. From time to time my life seems to get into routines and I usually do something DRASTIC or drastic to try and bust out of the rut. Saturday morning at 5:30 I got up and did something "drastic". I then left my apartment and walked north until I got to the George Wasthington Bridge, which I crossed and then I went down Broadway through Harlem, the Upper West Side, Midtown, Union Square, NYU, Soho, Tribeca until I finally got down to the Path station back to Hoboken. All told according to Google it was about 21 miles. During this time I put away my I-pod and as I preposteriously and prentensiously told my friend #13, "I listened to the sounds of the world". The weather was beautiful and by eliminating outside influences I really got to enjoy and see a lot of New York that I either see whizzing by in a cab or never see because I am in a subway. Either way my calves and feet were a little sore, but I came home Saturday afternoon in much less of a rut than I had been on Friday afternoon. And as hopelessly 14 year old girl writing in her journal this sounds, spring is about rebirth and renewal. That being said, the field thinks I am a nut. Not sure how the pictures are going to look, since I took them with my camera phone. The one is sunrise with Manhattan in the background as I was leaving Hoboken. The second is looking down at Manhattan from the GWB. And this link will show my route.

Anyway here is to a week of no routines.

One of the most disheartening things to come out of Monday was there are writers who are calling the students cowards for not fighting back. When I read one of the essays suggesting such I was disgusted. On 9/11, I was across the street having just left the Trade Center Complex on my way work. I turned around upon hearing the sound of a plane that was much too low to the ground and saw the explosion. I saw the scene for maybe a second or two and then I ran. I didn't think, I didn't process how to act, I just did. So to suggest that these students are to blame for not being more heroic is disgusting.

Andrew Levy of Red Eye has a great rebuttal here. Levy is quickly becoming one of my favorite people not demonstrated here, but demonstrated on Red Eye is such a nack for word play and sarcasm, that it will only be a matter of time before someone fires him for being too real.

Tom Wolfe is a fantastic writer, and here he takes on Hedge Funds.

Jimmy Carr is an Irish-English comedian, who wrote for Ricky Gervais. He has two albums available on i-tunes and his dry reversals are awesome. Such as

"Some people say Pete Doherty hasn't introduced anything to society, but I disagree. If nothing else, he's introduced a condom into my fantasy of shagging Kate Moss."

One of the worst things in the world is when you meet someone of the opposite sex who other than the fact they and possibly you are in a committed relationship you would otherwise be extremely attracted to, then you have months of thinking about who they are dating. In your mind this person is an absolute loser and under other circumstances (you were not with the perfect person you are with, and they were not with the D-bag they are with) you would be the perfect couple. But then comes the day and you meet him and they are absolutely cool and probably better for this person, and maybe the person you are with, than you ever would or could be. That is awful.

There are news stories that are sad and terrible. The tragedy of last Monday is the worst kind. As a society we often throw around the term "Hero", we give it to quarterbacks, to singers on reality shows, to people who have a nice jump shot. A word we rarely use is "coward". Thats the word I thought of on Monday. I am sure this kid had a tough life, I am sure he was picked on, I am sure things didn't go his way, but to take that out on people who never did anything to him personally are the acts of a Coward.

Saw Grindhouse on Saturday as the field was visiting friends. Say what you want about Tarantino, but the guy can do two things. One is he can write dialogue, two is he can film women who you don't know if they are good or bad. I loved it, but there are a certain peoples I can only recommend the movie to.

Some day Patience is a virtue, to me Patience is the name of a stock midwest stripper from a bad private eye movie, who saw something she shouldn't of but is torn between doing what is right and doing what is safe.

Melancholy Wednesday 3 song set-list as played on Wednesday.

1. Like A Rolling Stone - Bob Dyland
2. Always on my Mind - Willie Nelson
3. Ruby Tuesday- Rolling Stones.

The creation of the Mp3 Jukebox has taken all creativity out of playing the hand you are dealt at old timey jukeboxes.

I can't stand when people send emails with a list of questions but don't number them. It is selfish.

Jason Whitlock is one of the best sports writers out there because he writes how he feels.

If you want to feel good about humanity think about this. Somewhere in the world right now there are people creating proper wells so that villages can have clean drinking water.

If you want to feel unsure about humanity think about this: Somewhere in America parents are paying $40,000 dollars a year so their sons can have stayed up all night trying to come up with the perfect scale for ranking the attractiveness of women and are going to skip all their classes today.

If you want, however, a reason to never fly through Atlanta look here.

Shout out to #13. You know who you are.

I think I need to have something with Horseradish for lunch.

10 Candy Brands that have an easy way to start making candy for younger people

1. $100 Grand Bar -> 50 Cent Bar
2. Baby Ruth -> Embryo Ruth
3. KitKat -> KitKitten
4. M&M's -> m&m's
5. 3 Musketeers -> 3 Younger Musketeers
6. Swedish Fish -> Swedish Caviar
7. Big League Chew ->Tee-Ball Chew
8. Gummy Bears -> Gummy Cubs
9. Sour Patch Kids ->Sour Patch Infants
10. Reese's Peanut Butter Cups -> Reese's Peanut Butter Sippy Cups

My Confirmation Name: Xavier

I wanted Fabian but someone else had already took it. We had to make a banner to hang in the church. Well a few weeks had passed since making them and their hanging and glue against felt just doesn't hold, so instead of it looking like Xavier with a cross underneath it the T part of the cross fell down. So it ended up looking like the church had a retired number for athlete Xavier number 1 hanging from the rafters.

Today's Andy Rooney can't stand of the day. When something is described with an adjective that while being complimentary is not what it's supposed to be. What the heck am I talking about?

For the following 5items which would you rather choose.

1. A date who is attractive or articulate
2. A comic strip that is clever or funny
3. A meal that is delicious or efficient
4. A shirt that is comfortable or reliable
5. A movie that is entertaining or innovative

Yesterday The Masters, Sopranos, Entourage. My eyes hurt.

You know what's interesting about Easter, is that no one ever really has any Great Easter stories. In fact I rack my brain to come up with this mediocre tale that ended with the Lake creating the policy, never do a group project with a friend.

1995. Freshman year of college I am taking Introduction To Business. Its early Feb, and we have to break up into groups of 4, pick a company and present on it later in the semester. I sit next to this guy who I will call the parking lot. He is a great friend who read at my wedding. We are both hopeless in even talking to girls. Across the classroom are two very attractive women. One was 5'4'' and Greek and I think was as a freshman starting for our basketball team I think. The other was from Colombia and always dressed like she was the girlfriend of Prince Harry. To two shy Catholic guys from the suburbs these girls were not just exotic, they might as well have been the woman in Total Recall with three breast. So I shyly approach them and ask if they want to make a foursome. They say yes. So we divide up the report. ONe takes Finance, One takes marketing. one takes government implications and one took Managment. We set up weekly meetings and the report seems to be going swimmingly. My witty banter while not wooing them into the lovefest I want it to be, has at least gotten me to the point where I feel comfortable talking to them, and actually spend time in their rooms going over things, and eating with them in the cafeteria. Finally it is holy week and we have Good Friday off. Our Presentation is the Monday following Easter. That Thursday we meet to hand in the presentation. I am going to put them all into one package over the weekend. Mission Accomplished. At the meeting however the Parking Lot tells me that he needs more time, the Greek girl does as well and the Colombian is nowhere to be found. Good Friday, the campus is empty. I go check my email, I have an email from the Colombian, she is back in Colombia she is having visa issues. She will call me at 4PM. The Greek emails me as well saying that she will be dropping off the disk in my dormroom at 5PM that night. No word from the parking lot. I go over to his room to find him asleep and hungover. 4PM the Colombian calls and says she is faxing me her final product at the campus business center. Through OCR I am able scan her fax and import it into the total document. 5PM the Greek drops off her disk with a little Easter basket filled with jelly beans and a hollow bunny. I take this as a sign of affection, she gives it as a sign of penance. Saturday morning I have incorporated the entire paper together and am waiting on this last piece. Saturday night, a non Catholic friend drives me and the Parking lot to a church in Woonsocket Rhode Island so we can go to the Easter Vigil. The Parking lot and I don't speak the whole mass. After a speech about foregiveness we both shake hands and go out back to campus and drink out half a bottle of Goldschlager and a bunch more Keystone Light. The next morning hungover we both went to the cafeteria and wrote the rest of the paper.

Easter is about redemption.

I wish I was good at Archery, that seems like a good skill for the post-apocalyptic world.

I know almost nothing about Golf, but to me there are few better sporting events then the Masters.

A mime walks into a bar the bartender says nothing.

Today's songwriting trivia: The writer of Angel of the Morning wrote the song after being inspired by Ruby Tuesday.

I love four day weeks. Its both Wednesday and Thursday

I like people who say things such as, "I don't like movies, or don't like music". If you can in the truest form of the phrase categorically deny liking an entire category of entertainment, that shows a personality quirk that is much more interesting to me than someone who "likes all music except country" or "likes all movies except horror".

I think its funny when someone for no reason dislikes you so much that they send someone else to speak to you. Every time that happens it reaffirms that I am doing something right.

The oldest joke in the book, and yet is makes so much sense.

Heather Mills walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face.

The guy who runs our Final Four pool, who didn't win, brought in donuts for the group to celebrate. In the corporate world that is almost the equivalent of being Mother Theresa.

If I was 23 and single, instead of 30 and happily married to the field, and was inclined to hit on a girl on the train, it would be the one who carries her lunch to work in a Victoria's Secret bag. I mean how many does this girl have that she uses them for lunch bags.

What kind of wine do people from massachusetts like?

Pinot No R's

One thing I love is when someone tells a good story. It could be a short yarn about a night out with buddies where something went incredibly wrong or incredibly right. It could be an epic story of one families rise from poor immigrant slums to successful entrepreneurs. It could just be a witty anecdote. Here however are four things that if you tell a story and don't pay attention to will immediately throw my listening off.

1. Chronology errors. Today someone told a story that started in 1984 and ended today, but they kept switching years between 1987 and 1997.
2. Anachronisms Someone telling a story about the early 90's and referencing an I-pod or Dawson's Creek.
3. Geographic errors. If it is a true story the geography should also be true.
4. When someone tells a story with no point, no moral or no laugh.

2 things that I can accept in stories.
1. Exaggeration about the attractiveness of those other people you were hanging out with at the time. (this is essential to all Spring Break stories)
2. Increased stakes in gambling stories.