My buddy number 13, enjoys every once in a while reading my correspondence with others, what follows is an email with my cousin, that I think makes some interesting points. I have changed references to my name, in keeping the thin veil of anonymity this blog maintains, but this is how I responded to the question, how do I deal with Neurotics.


One of the things of being over here is that people in my life all the time want to introduce me to people they know, "that I will love" who are either in London or are visiting London or whatever. Now I am an optimist, and a realist and a cynic at the same time (that probably make me neurotic). But for the most part I think my line on people:
a) most people I can deal with in small doses
b) most people wear out their welcome with me after four hours
c) If you make it past the four hour mark, twice, I will forever love you
d) if you do not go over well in the first ten minutes your chance of ever making the four hour mark is about .01%.

Now I realize this all sounds harsh, and this is not The Lakes' standard operating procedure as much as it, how life plays out. so people keep telling me I have to meet so and so. And A) because while i have a cool group of friends here, it still is slightly lonely from time to time, and B) because I don't want to be rude, I will often agree to a pint or coffee to meet these people. now since being here the success ratio of such "set-ups" for lack of a better term, has been zero. In fact most of these people who I will love I can't stand. They have grating personalities, they are obnoxious, they are into hardcore drugs, or lots of sex with strange people, or generally are to quote Austin Powers - not my bag.

So the last few months this has bothered me, It has me on multiple occasions to think to myself, why do they think I will like said people. My thoughts have boiled down to this

a) In some way the feelings these people inspire in my friends who are suggesting we should hang out, are similar to the feelings I inspire. And since I can't stand to be alone with myself for very long, of course I can't stand to be with people like me.
b) People in the US overestimate the combination of being an American in London as potential common ground (my own experience runs opposite to this however as my group of friends here is much more eclectic than in the US and in a lot of ways our only common ground is that we are American)
c) forced set-ups never work (think blind dates or mentor relationships like Big Brothers Big Sisters)

My conclusion is that it has to do with the fact that I am a happy-go-lucky person who prefers matters of friendship (or retroactively liking someone romantically) to be organic. To be something that happens because it happens, not because someone else thought it was a good idea.

So what does all of this have to do with your question: well the fact that I have thoughts like this makes me either Neurotic, Self absorbed, Self aware, an overthinker or mentally challenged. The truth is probably a Venn Diagram with me in the middle. The other thing to remember is that in New York where Woody Allen is a role model, Neurotic for a lot of people becomes an easy personality template to fall into. Personality template is the thing I describe where someone has no personality so they adopt a pre-defined personality and all the tenets of it, rather than develop there own (see jock, slut, goth, emo, anorexic, Frat-boy all for examples) now we all know people who fit only parts of it, but how every once in a while in life have you met the uber religious Catholic girl that also love to drink or the Sports guy who also was working on a Screenplay, or the Investment banking guy who stays up writing meandering emails to his cousin at 230 in the morning whose defiance of the template makes them not what they appear to be, and its those people who we want to spend more than four hours with. So don't let the Neurotics drag you down, remember there is a big difference between having to spend four hours with someone and wanting to.

good to hear from you

The Lake

PS yes the insomnia hit tonight

Indiana Jones.

Well for those that worried it doesn't suck. It follows the formula of Raiders and Last Crusade, in that the first part of the adventure is almost cooler than the rest of the movie. Not to use an English major word, but the exposition is way over done.

I read Ebert's review, and he makes a great comment, is the reason we don't like this one as much as the others is that it is the fourth, and if we had seen this one first would we have loved it just as much. It's an interesting comment, one that when combined with the fact that I am 23 years older than when I first saw the character, left me at the end of it saying, how I intro'ed this post, it didn't suck. As comparison I left Iron Man saying, how friggin cool and fun was that movie. One is positive the other is refuting negatives. Either way go see it, if for no other reason there is an awesome ants scene, and there is a great scene where IJ is interrogated by CIA agents and it implies a lot has happened since he left the holy grail.

My funny joke of the weekend. In Hoboken there is a blockbuster. The sign in Daylight says BLOCKBUSTER VIDEO. At night when the neon is up and the sexiness of renting things is at its peak it says. BLOCKBUSTER V. Saturday night the Dump, #13 and Backdoor and I were in the car driving by, and I said, "and here we have Blockbuster Five."

When's the last time you got to use Roman Numerals for fun?

If someone says to me "you have to meet so and so, you will absolutely love them" two results will follow and its based on their criteria used to come to the conclusion that I will love them.

Criteria one: They are basing it on their knowledge that my heart often melts for slightly naive but intellectually rigorous, shorter cute blondes from suburban America, who find cynicism, mixed with embarrassing stories from childhood, mixed with the occasional fart/dick/ethnic joke to be the most charming characteristic in another human being.
Result: Usually I absolutely love them, where love is defined as, wouldn't be opposed to sitting next to them on a long flight to Asia where we both don't have books and the movie is Sisterhood of the Traveling pants.

Criteria two: All other Criteria.
Result. I don't absolutely love them, in fact I often think they are obnoxious, annoying or any other adjective that you don't put on your Match.com profile or your resume.

I think the reason for this is when people decide people who we will "absolutely love" they are doing so basing it on the person they are thinking of reminds them of us, and has characteristics of us. I hang out with myself enough that I don't need another me.

What Happens in Vegas.

Can you tell the weather has been crappy.

Again another Field choice. I relented because if I have to go watch anyone on screen for an hour and a half there is much worse than Cameron Diaz. I was pleasantly surprised. Again nice supporting cast, Two of my favorites were in it, Dennis Farina as Diaz's boss and Dennis Miller as the judge. Rob Corrdry who was on the Daily Show plays Ashton's friend and steals every scene he is in.

I liked the movie too, because it took place in New York and felt like New York really is, a lot of New York movies have New York as a setting but don't capture how New York actually is (Big Daddy comes to mind). Again one of those movies where the ending was coming from a mile away, but there are a lot of funny scenes and there seemed to be legitimate chemistry between Diaz and Kutcher.

My recommendation, good date movie, especially if you are in that stage where you want to go from dating to boyfriend and girlfriend.

Baby Mama

The field wanted to see this. I have to say though that the friendship between Amy Poehler and Tina Fey was strong enough to carry the movie. It was again bolstered by interesting side players. Greg Kinear (who is one of those actors you don't go to see in movies, but when you find out he is in the movie its a pleasant surprise) and Steve Martin have nice roles. It is one of those movies where you can kind of tell where the plot is from minute one, but there is some heart in the characters and some very laughable scenes. I would say this is the perfect movie for a third date after you cook your girlfriend dinner and rent the DVD.

Speed Racer

I didn't like the Matrix, and I didn't like this. All I can say is that John Goodman I think steals everything he is in. Other than that how can you have a movie with Christina Ricci (the princess of Goth Hot) and make her seem boring and uninteresting. Proof again that all the special effects in the world but if you don't have a story, you don't have anything.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall

As you know I am a big How I Met Your Mother fan. I think How I Met Your Mother takes everything we have learned from Arrested Development, the Office, Curb Your Enthusiasm, and said let's redo Friends. In doing so they have created a sitcom that is very traditional in structure and very unconventional in execution. If the show has weak links it's in Marshall and Lily. Lily because she is annoying, Marshall because he doesn't add anything to the show.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall, much like the 40 Year old Virgin, Wedding Crashers, and Knocked up takes the basic chick flick/date movie plot and then attempts to gross it up for the guys who need to sit through it. Here is why it succeeds moreso than I think Knocked up did, because the main character is likable. We are rooting for him throughout the movie. We feel for him. But again as with Iron Man he is bolstered by a strong supporting cast. Jack McBrayer (Kenneth from 30 Rock) has a bit part as a newlywed on his honeymoon that is great, Jonah Hill plays a host at the hotel and is understated and great. Sarah Marshal's new boyfriend is played by British comedian Russell Brand and is incredibly funny. Kristen Bell is great as Sarah Marshal, Mila Kunis is hot in an understated way. There is a great musical number. And there are a lot of funny scenes.

Two movies into the summer and two recommends.

One of the things about London is that the movie theatre near me has a deal, pay 20 pounds and you get to see as many movies you want in a month. So this summer I have taken it upon myself to see and review every "blockbuster". Here goes.

Iron Man.

Let me start off by saying there was a time where I was a comic book guy. My favorites were Daredevil and Green Arrow. I always disliked Superman because he was unrelatable. And the only way they ever tried to make him relatable was to make Clark Kent a bumbling doofus, which just doesn't play. I always liked Batman too, but the problem with Batman is that no matter how you want to portray Batman, you will be honest to the character, because by now we have seen Batman as dark and gritty and it works, we have seen Batman as bright and funny and it works, we have seen Batman as Dark and Bright and it works. So Batman has some core qualities, but how we enjoy him rests on the slant the creators want to play him as. Which brings me to Iron Man. I never read Iron Man. I probably knew some about his character, if only because I have at some point in my life known the inverse about comic books that I know about women.

The movie is in a word Awesome. Robert Downey Jr, phenomenal casting role. I thought he stole the movie in the underrated ZODIAC. In this he is perfect as Tony Stark. The role is played with humor. The role is played with a coolness that echoes Fonzie at his best. This is the super hero that guys want to be, girls want to be with. He parties, he lives life fun, and oh yeah he kicks ass. He is a rich Han Solo.
It doesn't stop there, the plot is pretty conventional, but the supporting cast is great. Gweneth Paltrow, who I have never really been a fan of, is hot in the movie, playing the role of hot good girl to perfection. Jeff Bridges is great as Tony Starks partner/archnemesis.
What a way to start the summer.