When it comes down to it what is the most humbling object in the universe?

A whistle on a lanyard. Think about it. When you hold a whistle on a lanyard you could think "ooh I could blow into this and make a loud sound." However, are any of us truly optimistic enough to see that totally utilitarian view of the whistle? The answer is obvious.

Instead when said object is in our hands we immediately realize our own imperfections with more clarity than a 20X mirror. Sure we could try and swing the lanyard around our index finger allowing the centrifugal force to spin the whistle like a plastic tilt-a-whirl. Each revolution only deepens the glaring fact that we are not nor will ever be as cool as a lifeguard at a public swimming area.

We could also put said whistle around our neck, wearing it like a crucifix presented to an Italian boy on his first communion. We can stand tall and proud with shorts and ankle socks, and a windbreaker with no lining, but we will never have the simultaneous real and inflated power that a J.V. soccer coach.

When i most think about the whistle though is when it comes time for me to make a decision. Like all of us mortals, my decision making process often is filled with hawwing and hemming. Do I go see Juno or do I go see Rambo. Like all people who struggle with life, the emotion I feel the most is congnative dissonance, that feeling that the decision you just made is the wrong one. Often on lazy sunday's or rainy wednesdays I think about my decision making role models. The people who can make decisions in instants and then stand behind them with more confidence than a wolf in a chicken coup for the blind. I am of course talking about referees, but in particular soccer and basketball. They stand before us often in black, the sports equivalent of Johnny Cash, and who could not imagine a referee orderring foul shots or penalty kick in Reno just to watch a man die. The referee has his whistle and blows it with such authority. Their decision stands.

Sorry to write such a depressing piece