6 topics I would cover if I wanted to be a hack stand up comic today.

1. Cell Phone Ringtones
2. Then segue into people who use Bluetooth
3. Then transition into the pointlessness of taking your shoes off at the airport
4. Then I would discuss reality TV
5. Then I would compare and contrast President Bush to Gilligan from Giligan's Island (including impressions of Alan Hale and Jim Backus)
6. Then I would talk about Hilary Clinton.