5 Disappointments from 2006

1. My attempts to write the definitive book on alchemy failed. Although I was able to turn tin into an erasable pen, which proves to be fairly useless.
   
2. My Ninja Training was stalled again this year. This is due to the fact that every time I pick up a nunchuck I somehow nail myself in the testicles and end up crying and asking for Mommy. She doesn't answer so I play her podcast over and over on my I-pod until I can stand again.
3. Superman and Rocky returned and yet nobody even thinks about making a sequel to Secrets of the Ya-Ya sisterhood. There have to be more secrets.
   
4. It is still unproven that Ziggy is not a hermaphrodite.
5. Still no leg hair.