I went to college in the Rhode Island between 1994 and 1998. Musically there are a few songs that will always be associated with college. The Fugee's, Chumbawumba, Blues Traveler. During that time period though if there was one constant it was the two Dave Matthews albums Under the Table and Dreaming and Crash. Under the Table and Dreaming in college was the chameleon album that was played for both a huge party, a small card game, a basketball warm-up or an impromptu late night getting to know one another session with a young lady from your Western Civ class after the bars closed. What brought this thought up is the morning as I was walking pre-work (A quick 3.5 miles to get the blood flowing), the I-pod came to the Dave Matthews' song Say Goodbye.
If you are unfamiliar with the song, it talks about two friends being somewhere together (in some versions of the song it is suggested that it is a cabin). In it, Matthews suggests that tonight said friend and he be lovers and tomorrow go back to being friends. It's a pretty simple concept and one that any guy who has a really close friend who was an attractive girl, but clearly has no interest in him, has thought about. As I was walking back into Hoboken and listening, what I began to wonder is, what percent of guys felt empowered by this song. They heard the lyrics, they thought to themselves if it can work for Dave, it can work for me with Betsy. Then I wondered what was the success rate? How many times in 1998 was there some, mediocre with girls, History major who finally got his education major, cheerleader, lab partner while studying for a quiz to listen to Say Goodbye and have her be swept up in the moment.
If such things were measurable, my hypothesis would be that maybe it worked 20% of the time. This with a baseline of, in college just asking worked 5% of the time (in today's world it's probably closer to 40%). My fear though is that what if the success rate was like 80%? What if all that needed to happen was to have the gumption to make the move and play the song? When I was a boy scout my first summer at summer camp I took Pioneering Merit Badge. One of the knots we had to learn was the bowline, which can be used to rescue people if they have fallen of a cliff, a very useful knot if you live in suburban New Jersey and the greatest incline is 30 feet at a 23% angle. Anyhow I spent the whole week trying to get it right on how to tie it. Then finally the last day the instructor showed me a way to tie it that was so easy the second time I tied it that way I did it with my eyes closed. I think I am happy not knowing if Say Goodbye worked or not. Now that I am happily married to the Field, it would be useful to me as knowing the bowline in the flat suburbs.