Ladies, I realize this has been long awaited, but here is my 8 point question list you should confirm before ever dating a guy. These are the big 8, showstoppers, that immediately inform you that you are on a oneway trip to Dudsville.

1. Does he ever use a metal detector at the beach?
2. In naming his genitalia, is there any references to Muppets that are not Gonzo?
3. Has he drank Red Bull in order to stay awake for a Dungeons and Dragon's Adventure?
4. When you ask his favorite movie, does he say Monster?
5. Does he refer to his jeans as dungarees?
6. Does his wallet have velcro?
7. Does he own more than three kitties?
8. Does he own a pet monkey?